What Does It Mean To Be Free In The World?
by: Hollee Freeman, PhD
I am writing this short essay on the very day that we celebrate the life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
I am also writing this essay:
• 5 days after, I refused to let a white woman scream and repeatedly talk over me in a Zoom meeting (I mean, I really refused)
• 2 days after a glorious, soul stirring, hike with friends around Belle Isle
• 1 day after a family in a surrounding county received a racist note (there was something about watermelons and chicken wings)
• 1 day after my self-care class when I recounted the Zoom story and the multi-racial group of women talked about compassion and fierceness. We all cried.
• 1 day after my book club discussion of Emmanuel Acho’s, Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man
• 7 hours after my Smart Watch alerted me that my rings are usually further along and I had to say that no, I would not be going on my walk around my neighborhood or swimming with Louisa today (or even this week). Didn’t my watch know that it may not be safe for black and brown folks out there?
• 3 hours after sitting at a stoplight next to a truckload of white men, flags waving as they headed to the Virginia Capitol
I am also writing this essay two days prior to the inauguration of President-Elect, Biden and Vice President-Elect, Harris.
What does it mean to feel free in this world?
All of these experiences could each be their own essay, each with the byline:
Freedom for who? Freedom to do what?
Although these experiences weigh heavily on my mind and heart, I first thought about my engagement with freedom four months ago when I talked to a friend about our mutual love of hiking. My friend, who is white, hikes by herself often and she enjoys it (and she should). I asked her if she feels safe when outdoors alone. “Of course,”, she said, “the thing I have to worry about most, is probably a bear.” Hmm, a bear certainly does not sound safe but also, it doesn’t hamper her freedom of movement. However, for me as a black woman in this society, I would not hike alone, even though it is one of the places where I feel most alive. Why should my friend feel free to enjoy the woods, mountains, and valleys and not me? Does she even understand that she has this freedom that others do not? Should she? What would happen if she did? Would anything be different for me?
What does it mean to feel free in this world…when everything indicates that you are not free?
If freedom does not come from the world, perhaps it comes from your body, mind, and soul in spite of the constraints of the world? How does one tap into their celestial nature in spite of this tenuous earthly experience? Does it require more meditation? More reading? More hikes…alone?
The answer may not be found in doing more. It may very well reside in doing less. It may require release - release of things, people, feelings, and responsibilities. One cannot feel free if burdened by worries, unrealistic responsibilities, and dis-ease.
I, for one, have the responsibility, the joy, and the burden of worrying about elderly parents and grandparents. I feel this so acutely that I cannot seem to enjoy the freedom that comes with having living older relatives. I was not free. To find the freedom that comes with loving and caring for older adults, I had to release the burden and the worry. I had to turn it (all of it) back over to the universe (to God) so that I could be open enough and empty enough to receive the blessing of freedom - mind, body, and soul.
What does it mean for you to feel free in the world?
What do you need to release?
For what do you need to make room?
Yours Truly,
Hollee Freeman, PhD